Funny Times

I have mentioned before that I take bullying extremely seriously since I was  once bullied as a child. I was not physically hurt but psychologically hurt. One of my childhood ‘friends’ managed to make me believe I was fat, ugly, and a loser. This person from 5th grade through middle school after we parted managed to continuously implant this thought into my head. Since our mothers were friends I was forced to invite her to my parties where on my birthday she turned two of my closest friends against me. Where they stayed in my room wrote awful letters for me. They gave them to me before they left. I have never told this to anyone and bottling it up has been agonizing. 

This party happened 6 years ago but just today I threw those letters away. I can honestly thank two strangers that came into the restraunt I work at for helping me get over this. They were a couple that came in Saturday night, the women just casually stated that I was very pretty and both of them were wondering where I was from. I was baffled. I have been told ‘oh you look so pretty’ and what not from my friends and family, but that always seemed hollow and forced. This one simple statement from these strangers (and that anon that messaged earlier) caused me to break down. During my shower I burst out crying releasing all the anger and sorrow that has remained bottled up. I still sit here typing thinking I am still a loser, ugly, and fat; but at least I have some idea that I do have something going for me. This may seem shallow but to live most of your life thinking of yourself this way can really hurt you and your confidence. I just want to thank those strangers (and anon).

Please do not bully people in any shape or form. I am still not sure I can get over it but right now I feel a bit hopeful that I can start healing and hope one day I can feel good about myself. 

Thank you.